Have you ever felt like you experience an internal dialogue, conflicting sensation, or an awareness of different parts of you pulling you in different directions? Perhaps one part of you longs to connect with a person in your life, while another strongly resists, afraid of being hurt again. Or maybe there is a part that endlessly criticizes your choices in an effort to protect you from making mistakes or feeling embarrassed, even though deep down you know you are doing your best.

Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS), developed by Richard Schwartz, provides a compassionate and non-pathologizing way to understand these internal dynamics (Schwartz & Sweezy, 2020). Rather than viewing inner conflicts or emotional struggles as signs that something is wrong with you, IFS recognizes that these parts of yourself are actually working hard to protect you, even if their strategies sometimes cause unintended pain.

Understanding Your Inner World: Parts and the Self

IFS proposes that our minds naturally divide into distinct “parts.” These parts include protective managers who strive to maintain control and prevent emotional discomfort, firefighters who quickly act to extinguish emotional pain, and vulnerable exiles who carry past hurts, fears, and traumas (Schwartz, 2021).

For instance, your inner critic might be seen as a protective manager, believing that by harshly criticizing you, it is actually motivating you to do better or avoid criticism from others. While the critic’s tactics can feel painful, it is driven by an intention to protect you from failure or rejection. Similarly, a firefighter might impulsively push you toward substance use or distraction to quickly avoid or numb overwhelming emotions when an exiled part, holding deep sadness or fear, feels triggered.

Beneath these protective parts lies what IFS refers to as the “Self”—a core essence characterized by calmness, compassion, curiosity, clarity, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness (Schwartz & Sweezy, 2020). In IFS therapy, the goal is not to control or eliminate parts but rather to help your Self connect with and lead these parts with understanding and empathy.

Healing through Compassion and Curiousity

One of the reasons IFS resonates deeply with many people is because it reframes emotional pain not as pathology but as a meaningful communication. In my work as a therapist, clients often express relief when they begin to see their anxiety, self-criticism, or emotional overwhelm as understandable responses shaped by their environment and past experiences. From this place of understanding, it becomes easier to approach their internal experiences with compassion rather than judgment.

Research supports the effectiveness of IFS for addressing a variety of concerns, particularly post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Comeau et al., 2024; Hodgdon et al., 2021), addiction (Mehrad et al., 2023), chronic pain (Shadick et al., 2013), and depression (Haddock et al., 2016). By gently exploring and dialoguing with your internal parts, you can discover what they need, how they are trying to help, and new ways to address their underlying concerns. Over time, this helps parts relax or change their sometimes rigid protective roles, allowing your authentic Self to guide you more effectively.

Is IFS Right for You?

If you resonate with the idea of navigating sometimes conflicting internal dialogues or sensations, if you struggle with persistent self-criticism, or if you feel there may be parts of you holding on to burdens and pain that impact your day to day life, IFS might offer you a refreshing path toward wellbeing. I invite you to consider this compassionate and curious approach as a way to build deeper self-understanding and emotional resilience.

In my practice, I regularly witness the transformative power of helping clients shift their relationship with their internal world. It is not about changing who you are—it is about welcoming and befriending all parts of yourself, leading to greater internal harmony, growth, and emotional ease.

If you are curious about IFS therapy and wonder how it could support your own healing journey, I welcome you to reach out. Together, we can explore how this approach might help you experience greater peace within yourself and your relationships.